On Intimacy - What Does it Mean?




Do we know ourselves?


How do we know that we know ourselves?


We have been in an era of spiritual enlightenment but what does that actually even mean?


I don't know about you but over the years, whether I was in my past church days, new age days or now I have heard people talk about how their desire is to be at one with God, to Ascend, to be Enlightened, Awakened, etc.


Richard Rudd states in his book The Gene Keys in Gene Key 51 I believe that to be awakened means to be oneself, spontaneously and effortlessly. Ok....but what does that actually mean and how would I know if I or anyone else is in that energetic space?


I heard something today that I was moved by and I wanted to share it with you....


To KNOW thyself has everything to do with how intimate one can be with the other.

When I say intimate I do not necessarily mean sex....although sex can be a component of intimacy. When I refer to intimacy in the context of knowing oneself what I mean is how well are you able to SEE, HEAR and hold space for the other.


What do you notice about the other?


How intimate ( In To Me See) can you be with the other?


Do you notice all of the nuances of your pet, of a bird, of a plant or flower in the garden, of a raindrop, of a leaf on a tree or how it blows in the wind?


How well do you notice in your child the lighting up of their eyes when they are excited or scared, or how they may fidget with their fingers when they are nervous, or how they hold their left shoulder when they are in an uncomfortable conversation with another?


How deeply can you understand another when they are speaking...can you actually hear what they are saying without assuming through your own filter what they are saying?


The level of intimacy with the other, the level to which you can see, hear and be with another is the degree in which you know yourself.


When we look at knowing ourselves in this way, we start to realize all the ways in which perhaps we are programmed into busyness and chaos so that it almost feels impossible to be intimate with the other. We have to slow down to see, to hear and to be with the other - at least enough to notice the other.


This is what is called presence.


To be present with the the other - to BE WITH - for the intention of knowing them...because we understand that the level or degree that we can be with the other is the level or degree of intimacy we have with ourselves.


I SEE you only to the level that I SEE myself.


I HEAR you only to the level that I HEAR myself.


I LOVE you only to the level that I LOVE myself.


I am PRESENT with you only to the level that I can be PRESENT with myself.


The other aspect that this brings up is the realization that in order to be in this state of intimacy or presence, one has to clear out or release the space that is in the way of being intimate with the other.


Clearing out or releasing this space within us is healing our emotional wounds that we have held onto for years, and sometimes lifetimes. There is no other way - I can confidently, with everything in me, back this statement 100%.


The path to intimacy with the other - the path to knowing oneself (as they go hand in hand) is healing.


What does this mean for you?


It means that healing our inner child(ren), working to integrate the unintegrated parts of ourselves (sometimes called our shadow) is essential to live a fulfilled life - where we are truly intimate with life.


It means that we have wounds that we have inherited from our mother and father's lines and we have massive amounts of conditioning to clear. This does not mean that we blame and shame our parents or caregivers - but what it does mean is that we acknowledge that there were needs that were not met when we were a child. These needs could be safety, love, acceptance, autonomy, etc. As children we internalize it as that there is something wrong with us....it's a safety mechanism that our psyche does because to understand that our caregiver wasn't emotionally or physically safe to be around would be too traumatic for us as a child. So, we internalize and shape ourselves into children that do the 'please love me dance' and some of us get really good and change the dance to whoever we are around so that we can get these needs met.


These patterns carry on to adulthood and we end up in friend, intimate and job relationships that most likely are not aligned to us - they are aligned to the masks that we have learned to wear throughout our life.


So we go to school, get a job, get married & have kids under the the masks that we are wearing....until one day something triggers us into looking into the mirror and saying to ourself 'Who are you'? 'I don't even recognize you anymore.' This can be the catalyst for our own awakening....but it's up to us to keep awakening to more and more of ourselves as we are ready.


The desire to be awakened, to achieve enlightenment, and to be one with God that we have is simply the knowing of oneself. The more we awaken to ourself, integrate our inner children (by doing inner child work and acknowledging that there are parts of ourselves that have been broken off at different times of our life), the more we can learn to trust ourselves and make decisions from our own authority vs. an external power- over authority figure. The more this happens the more life seems to come alive, and the less satisfied we are in the day to day mundane life that we have lived up until this point. The more intimate we can be with ourselves by uncovering ourselves is the the level of intimacy we are capable of experiencing with the other -whether that is with our child, our partner, a project we are working on, a friend, an animal, a plant, etc.


Life becomes an exciting and intimate experience - when we clear out and heal the emotional blocks and beliefs that are residing within ourselves.


We are our only block - and we can do something about it....Today.


Love,

Erin


p.s. To work with me by having a reading or taking my new course Sovereign Kids please check our my services and courses page. Whether you work with me or anyone else....just do the work. Your future self will thank you for it. Much Love.

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