On Being an EMOTIONAL BEING- Swinging between the HIGH highs and the LOW lows

Updated: Jan 19, 2021

Do you ever feel that your emotions are out of control?

Have you ever been diagnosed or feel that you could be diagnosed for a mental/psychological disorder such as bipolar disorder?

I understand all to well the intensity of emotion that one can feel....because I feel it.

When I was little I remember my parents and others telling me to just calm down and not get so emotional. Instead of learning that this is a part of me, I learned to believe that there was something wrong with my emotional intensity.

The HIGH highs and the LOW lows.

It can feel like a roller coaster and at times all I want it to do is to STOP!

Two years ago I received a Human Design Reading and I learned that I was emotionally defined which means that the sideways triangle, the solar plexus, on my HD chart is colored in.

This new awareness liberated me....it allowed me to accept that my emotions were valid and that there wasn't anything 'wrong' with me! What I had to learn is how to navigate my emotions, especially when I was in an emotional wave. I had to learn to take responsibility for my emotions and know when it was a good time to express myself or wait, to make a decision or wait.

It's been two years and every wave is different....some are pretty mild and some are pretty intense. I just came out of a very intense wave that lasted just over 48 hours. During the wave, I didn't want to do anything, everything looked pretty grey in my life, everyone was irritating to me, and life seemed pretty dismal. I know now that to attach to the emotions and believe that what I'm feeling is my absolute truth can be very dangerous and self harming.

This last wave I found it harder to remain grounded and centered....I found it harder to hold space for myself which allowed me to see within myself what I need to settle more into. Cultivating the divine masculine within myself that is capable of holding space for the deepest places within my BEing. Cultivating, acknowledging and loving the masculine with all of my BEing so that I can provide for myself a safe container to experience my emotional waves without judgement, fear and abandonment of myself.

The gift of the emotional wave is the mutation that comes from it, when I allow myself to fully experience it, when I can support myself through it without trying to 'figure it out'. The emotional wave is a part of me, that is wanting to be witnessed and acknowledged. The more it's repressed, the deeper into the unconscious my emotions go and the more disconnected I am to myself.

Do you know if you are emotionally defined? About 50% of the population is. You can run your own chart HERE for free.

If you are emotionally defined please do me a favor and comment below or email me at erin@erinesser.com. I'm desiring to help others navigate through their own waves and to learn to accept all of themselves.....the the depths of their being. As I learn to give myself more permission to be myself I want to help others do the same.


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