- Free · 6,500+ downloads
See what's really behind the people pleasing
If you keep overthinking, putting yourself last, struggling to make decisions or feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions... there may be a pattern running underneath it. The free Adaptation Map helps you see it, so you can stop mistaking it for who you are.
- The Map lands in your inbox in a few minutes. Unsubscribe anytime.
- Free PDF, 10 patterns
- What each one protected
- Why nothing is wrong with you
6,500+ DOWNLOADS
"How are you in my head?"
"It took me 45 years of carrying all of this before I even knew I was carrying it. It took another 5 years to unpack it all. A lifetime of struggling to understand myself and you just described me down to the tiniest detail in under a minute."
"I've sat and read this checklist a few times over and I've cried, checked every box... I subconsciously people please, have no identity but mum... I only see a shell of myself. This helped and made me feel recognised."
"Just knowing that my reactions and coping mechanisms from childhood were normal reactions to abnormal circumstances... it comforts me to see others coped the EXACT same way!"
"If I had understood what was going on I couldn't have written a better check list. Thanks for the validation."
IF YOU'VE ALREADY TRIED EVERYTHING
Then You are in the RIGHT SPOT.
You've read the books. Maybe you've done the therapy, the podcasts, the courses, the journaling. You can probably explain your patterns better than most people... and you still say yes when you mean no.
So you decide something must be wrong with you. That you didn't try hard enough. That everyone else figured this out and you didn't.
Here's what actually happened. Almost everything out there stops at 'seeing' it with NO understanding on WHY it's happening....so it all lives in your head. But these patterns didn't start in your head... they started in your body, when you were small. So that's where they have to change too.
Let yourself off the hook for not getting it sooner. Nobody showed you how, until now.
The Map is where you start: seeing it clearly, maybe for the first time.
What's inside the Adaptation Map?
Every pattern is broken into the same parts, so you can see what was survival and what may actually be you underneath it.
The checklist
10 patterns, from going blank when someone asks what you want to pushing through hunger and exhaustion.
You get: your own patterns, named
- You notice: which ones hit your body hardest.
The adaptation
What each pattern did for you when you were small, and why it made total sense at the time.
You get: the why behind it
- You notice: where you've been calling survival a personality flaw.
What it protected
What each pattern kept you from feeling or losing back then, so you can see the fear underneath it.
You get: the fear underneath, finally named
- You notice: whether that danger is still real today.
The true self
The part of you each pattern has been covering up, the one who never got the chance to show up.
You get: a glimpse of the real you
- You notice: what feels like you and what feels like survival.
The root
The one belief underneath all 10 patterns, and why seeing it isn't enough to change it on its own.
You get: the thing driving it all
- You decide: what you want to do with what you see. That part is yours.
You still choose your answer. You just stop starting from fear.
A text from a friend · 9:47pm
"Can you help me move Saturday? You're the only one I can count on."
- Without the Map
You type yes before you've even checked in with yourself... even though Saturday was the one day you had for you. Then you lie awake wondering why you always do this.
- With the Map
You can see the pattern as it happens and know it's an old safety move. Your answer is still yours to choose.
For the woman who's exhausted from making sure everyone else is okay
You're the responsible one
You're the one everyone leans on. The one who picks up the slack. The one who holds everything for everyone.
You know what you do
You've read the books and you can name what you do. You just don't know why you do it... and that's part of the reason you keep doing it.
You want to understand yourself
You don't want a label. You're not looking for a diagnosis. You want to understand yourself and start choosing differently.
ABOUT ERIN
Hi, I'm Erin.
I know what it's like to build a life around surviving instead of choosing. I was the responsible one... the people pleaser, the overfunctioner, the one who kept everybody okay.
I was diagnosed with ADHD and CPTSD, and I've spent more than a decade healing the parts of me that still needed to be witnessed.
I've had to restart my life and my identity more than once. Part of the hard part was figuring out what I wanted, because I honestly didn't know I had full permission to want something without having a reason for it. The other part was trusting myself enough to choose it... even when choosing it meant disappointing someone.
How I work
I work in parts. Inner child work, parts work, shadow work. And all of it runs through three steps, in this order:
See it. This is where most people get stuck. You can name the pattern, you've read the books... and you're still doing it. Because seeing it happens in your mind. (There is a small step between See it & Feel it that is crucial to your healing which is 'understanding that leads to compassion' which this Adaptation Map addresses)
Feel it. This is the body. You can't change something you haven't felt. When your mind and your body finally connect, that's when change can actually begin.
Change it. Not by forcing it. By choosing differently, one small time after another, from a body that feels safe enough to do it.
The Adaptation Map is where you start: seeing it.
I've been doing this work with women since 2016, and it's work I've lived from the inside. No matter how old you are, it is never too late to come back to yourself.
QUESTIONS
Before you download
Is it really free?
Yes. Put in your email and the Map lands in your inbox in a few minutes.
Do I have to fill anything out?
No. There's nothing to fill out. Read through it and notice which ones you feel in your body, not just in your head.
Is this a diagnosis?
No. It's a map. It helps you see what's been shaping your life so you can stop mistaking it for who you are. If you want a diagnosis or clinical treatment, a licensed therapist is the right person for that.
What if I check almost every box?
Then you're in good company. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you. It means you adapted... and now you get to see what was survival and what's actually you.
Before you can change a pattern, you have to see it
Download your free Adaptation Map and join the 6,500+ women who've started naming the patterns behind their people pleasing, overthinking and self abandoning.
The Map arrives by email in a few minutes, and you can unsubscribe anytime.